I got the smoker.
After half an hour of wrangling this thing by myself into my dad’s car and an hour of cleaning and scraping and hammering I finally have a functional smoker. I still have no idea how to use it (beyond the basics) but it doesn’t matter because I can now go into my backyard and open up my smoker. Items to be smoked on the first test include: a salmon fillet, a turkey, pork ribs and maybe some other stuff. Clearly unrealistic but I’m pumped.